Family Traditions

Just the kids on Christmas Eve...
too many adults to get in one picture!

I have always been intentional about creating “family traditions.”  We moved away from our immediate family, which meant we had to come up with things that could morph into traditions.  Some have worked, such as inviting anyone from church who didn’t have a better plan, to come to our house for Christmas Eve.  Other attempts at creating a family tradition have not fared as well, such as waiting until Easter to color eggs because the week before was too busy.  Nothing like having the house smell like vinegar, clothes stained and everyone’s fingers a weird shade of purple just as company arrives.  Lesson learned.

My children are all teenagers now, which poses it’s own set of challenges, but I have noticed how some of the traditions have become important to them.  For several years we invited friends over on Halloween for a chili dinner, followed by some trick or treating.  When the kids returned to the house, they set up this elaborate inventory and trade event.  A few years ago I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to bag the whole thing.  My daughter looked at me in disbelief and said, “make a list of what needs to be done and I will take care of it.”  Mind you, I wasn’t canceling Halloween I simply didn’t want to entertain.  The next thing I know the house was sort of clean and she made me a shopping list.  Clearly she wasn’t letting go of this tradition.

Our Annual Labor Day at
Cannon Beach tradition

Two years ago I booked a white water rafting trip down the Deschutes.  Needless to say we had a blast.  This past year I asked the kids if they wanted to do it again to which one of my boys said, “It’s tradition.”  I didn’t realize doing it once made it tradition – but I will go along.  Really any day in which we are all together and they get a long sounds like a dream come true.

Recently a friend told me my son was over at her house hanging out with her son.  After a while my son got up and said he was heading home because his family was “doing something fun” so had to go.  I have no idea what exactly he was referring to, but I like the idea that he felt an urge to come home and spend time with his family.  They might groan when I tell them not to make plans on a certain day so we can have family time, but part of me thinks they actually appreciate it. 

For years the annual Christmas Tree Hunt
ended when someone was in tears.
Somewhere along the line they learned
the fine art of compromise.

This all sounds rather Norman Rockwell-ish, because I can gloss over the time we went on a camping trip without Emily’s bag.  She was left to sort through the boys’ extra clothes and call it good.  Or there was the time when the kids were little and we were on a road trip through California when we suddenly realized Emily’s Pocahontas sleeping bag flew off the top of the car.  Bad things didn’t always happen to Emily though.  We took an extended trip to the east coast one summer and somewhere along the line lost Jack’s special blanky.  Imagine a preschooler on a long vacation without his most precious belonging.  Or there was the time the kids were all working with John in the garden when we noticed Smyth was eating the food scraps in the compost pile.  So you get the idea that not everything we do turns out well.

 I wonder now that we have one away in college if traditions like pumpkin picking and Christmas tree hunting will continue?  Will these traditions morph as they kids get older or will they want to cling to the way we have done them in the past?  Time will tell what traditions we keep, but I know with certainty that I want the kids to have grown up with certain constants in their lives.  So many things around us change, but I hope they have the sense that it doesn’t matter precisely how we did it, but that we did it as a family.