I love youth sports. My children have played on at least 120 different teams over the past 14 years and that alone should prove that point. I say "at least" because I couldn't accurately count the Fall and Spring basketball teams the boys played on, All Star and Honors Little League or the Club water polo team Emily competed with since I can't exactly remember when each started those. So all in all we could be talking closer to 135 different teams with the three kids across the four seasons. I know their participation in youth sports has shaped them into wonderful young adults. The lessons learned on the field, court, pool and diamond include leadership, responsibility, goal setting, roles, that life is not always fair and the refs don't always call things the way you see them. But there is one thing that pushes my buttons, and that is when the coach keeps the athletes after practice when I have other places to go.
In the beginning of my parenting years, I didn't mind too much as we weren't so immersed. Before I knew it, all three kids were doing sports from Fall through Spring. During those years I wasn't as concerned if my kids made the highest level team, for me it was all about the carpool - who on this team lives near us?! The Fall was always the hardest as the kids became older. John would be coaching full time at the high school and left me to get all three children to and from practices, which is why I relied on carpools so much. As the children reached later elementary years, I noticed a trend where the practices ran past the scheduled time. Sometimes it was because the coaches had the athletes do some of the clean up and transport of equipment back to their cars. OK, I understand we are building responsibility. As we entered the middle school years, I noticed team meetings after practices that stretched the "end time" by another 20 minutes. Well, I guess they are learning more about their roles as teammates and possibly game strategies. But always in the back of my mind I thought to myself "if this meeting time is so important, extend the end time in the email sent out to all the parents!"
There was one time period and one particular season that is embedded in my memory. It was the Fall of Emily, Jack and Smyth's 9th, 7th and 5th as well as their 10th, 8th and 6th grade years. It was the Fall, so John was coaching more than full time and I was left getting everyone to their water polo, soccer and football practices and games. Emily did not have her license yet so I was flying solo. I ended up paying an upper class man who played water polo and lived near us to transport Emily consistently. Best $5 per week I ever spent. So that left me picking up Jack from Rock Creek and Smyth from Five Oaks at exactly the same time. For those of you familiar with the area, you would think grabbing Smyth from Five Oaks then dealing with the six traffic lights in rush hour (which sometimes meant waiting through two to three cycles to get through each light) and heading to Rock Creek would make the most sense. Except football practices NEVER end when the email says they end. So, many times I would try to run to the other school to get Jack only to come back and find Smyth with the team parent in the parking lot giving me the evil eye - because those six lights can take 30 minutes round trip that time of night. So often I was left with the decision of figuring out which child to leave stranded at a field waiting for me because their coach doesn't end practice when they say it will end. Often I sacrificed Smyth knowing there were several moms who I got to know and they made sure he was safe while I did battle with traffic and hoping all the while the soccer coach kept a better time schedule. Sometimes that worked, other times weren't so pretty. Eventually I asked one of the football coaches for rides for Smyth and he was always gracious. But still, in the back of my mind I just wished they would manage their time better so I could manage mine!! If the clean up and the meetings are so important, budget time for them in the practice and stick to the schedule. It would certainly make my carpool time more relaxed knowing exact end times!! I really became grumpy when I would leave my high school student's game to pick my middle school student up from practice only to sit in a parking lot - waiting for another 20 minutes, missing the second half of the game.
Today was one of those days. Our baseball double header was rained out so a last minute batting practice was called for 2pm. No end time in the email - oops!! I sent Smyth with his cell phone, but then ran into one of the coaches in the parking lot. He told me it would be an hour, and if it is different, he would have Smyth text me. OK, fair enough. I did get a text telling me the practice would be and hour and a half so whoo hoo, schedule the errands. John is out of town, so I time everything and head back to the school at the designated time. Yet I ended up sitting there another 30 minutes.
At this point I would like to write an open letter to all youth coaches. I would tell them that I completely understand they are volunteers and I appreciate the time commitment they invest in these athletes. I would let them know my husband has volunteered to coach both youth basketball and baseball for more then 14 years, so I really do understand their time commitment is tremendous. The one piece of constructive criticism I would give is that they need to honor my time commitment too, especially when I have two to three children to pick up at the exact same time from three different locations. I would love to say my husband is diligent in this area when he coaches, but honestly he needs to hear it too. Families in sports often run on a tight time schedule in the evening, so when you think the wisdom you need to pass along to the athletes right after practice is more important than keeping to the schedule you sent out in an email - think again. We also teach these athletes a lot about time management. So speaking for all the parents with multiple children playing on multiple teams, just tell me when practice really ends and I'll be there.
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